Like, WTF.

Recently I realized just how absurd our lives have become on the Internet.

When I eat out, the first thing I do is check into the restaurant or whatever on Foursquare. Then I take a picture of the moment and record it on Path. Some people might bring up Facebook Places or Google+. And then I can eat. But afterwards, I have to Oink what I eat to my friends.

It's absurd. It's the new order.

I'm deeply bothered that these toys are even on the market.

Look at all these toys the companies are forcing their parents to buy them to gain their love and acceptance! No wonder today's kids are screwed up.

The Game of Life. When you turn it into a board game it only makes it bleaker and more dismal. There's no better way to turn a nine-year-old into a jaded and disenchanted zombie for the rest of his miserable, pointless and fatalistic existence. Youth ruiners!

Katz says she used to play the Game of Life, and she turned out to be much more than alright, but she's one in a million (and we were both brought up in the much saner nineties). Kids of today, steer clear.

WTF is this crap? (See what I did there?) It's not even a toy, it's a miniature replica of a toilet after it gets violated by a man who apparently had Taco Bell and two indigestible eggs for lunch. WTF.

At least the toy industry is doing their share for gender equality. Deconstructing gender roles FTW.

Allow me to rant about "Serendipity."

Yeah, it's sweet and all, and the notion of the whole universe existing to bring two people together is irresistible. But if you spend seven years thinking about and tracking down a chick with an accent (or, in Sara's case, a funny Jewish boy) even though you have a happy, stable relationship, then you have serious issues. On another point, they were, in any case, chasing serendipity, looking for the signs and not just waiting to come across each other.

Five minutes after you walk away from the film you're starry-eyed; five hours later you realize everyone in the film was kidding him/herself. And that you probably were, too.

Maybe there is a universe that exists for the union and happiness of two people, but it isn't the one we live in, kids. Over here, the stars may give you a little nudge now and then, but a happy relationship is the product of two people's fierce commitment to stay with each other and work things out, not fate and happy accidents.

Fyeah Ari Gold!

The guy who played Aidan, Carrie Bradshaw's other major romance in Sex and the City, appeared here, too. Apparently the only role he's capable of playing is the laid back hipster with a hint of douchebag.

I took notes, both because I was bored and because I'm taking a Film class this semester. I be reading all the subtle hints the director's trying to throw at me, y'all!

I've always felt bad for the first hotcake in the two-piece hotcake McDonald's breakfast meal.

We're careful not to put too much butter and maple syrup on him. We're afraid we'll end up giving him too much and leave little to slather on the second hotcake. So Number One ends up a bit dry and bland.

When we get to the second hotcake we discover we have more than enough butter and maple syrup left for him. So Number Two is extra sweet and extra buttery. We savor him, praise him for being such a delicious piece of dough, forgetting that he is only so because we left the first hotcake with less than he needed.

Spare a thought for the first hotcake in your meal, and the next time you grab breakfast at McDonald's, give him all the syrup he needs.